what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
