she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
