i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
