I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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