I'm pants shitting drunk right now
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I wish I only lived at night.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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