Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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