So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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