You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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