Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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