loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
