That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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