I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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