Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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