i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
