i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
