Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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