I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
