if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
