We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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