big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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