i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
