i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
