Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
