I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
