So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
