I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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