to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
