dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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