Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You ate ashes out of my bong
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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