It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
