we're blogging at a bar
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Are my feet made of real feet?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
