Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize