I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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