you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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