So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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