i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
