Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
