if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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