sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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