WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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