3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
