I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
