so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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