I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
