I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
