Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
