it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
