dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
