Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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