margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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