We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
