i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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