You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
