if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
