is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
3 2 1 whiskey
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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