And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
