Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
