Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
