yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
