The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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