After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
