Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I could fuck to npr.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
