You just made me feel so damn special
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
