we have pet lesbian snakes
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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